There is such thing as too kind.

It is never wrong to be kind, but there is kindness to be found in some acts that may seem harsh.

For instance:

When you always pick up toys for your child, you don’t allow them to learn to care for themselves.
When you feed your family only what they already love, you deny them the experience of new flavors and textures.
When you allow someone to treat you badly, to teach them that they can be cruel to people.
When you spoil your pets, you make it harder for anyone to care for them in your absence.

Being too kind is also bad for your own psyche.
When you carry each small burden for everyone else, you often find you don’t have time or energy to care for yourself.

The solution is to allow the people (and pets) you love to grow by being kind and firm.

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Share what you have.

At some point in our politically polarized society the word ‘sharing’ somehow became synonymous with ‘communism’. This caused great things to happen for manufacturers and people who had inherited a lot but did not want to pay taxes.

As a result we have developed into a society that shames ‘hand-me-downs’ of any kind and ostracizes and stigmatizes poverty.

What got lost in that association was that the idea of sharing takes very little from those who have a lot but gives so much to those who have little. Those who have little share with those who have even less. Eventually a lot of that gets back to the wealthy as those at the bottom purchase things produced by those at the top.

When people share with others on any level, everyone wins.

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Tolerate emotional white lies.

There are times when you just know someone is lying but your instinct tells you to let it go. Listen to the instinct and pay attention to what the liar is really trying to say.

When a kid says his absentee father dad owns a Maserati. He is really trying to say, “The dad in my fantasies is wildly successful, that’s why he can’t be with me.”
In that case it’s best to say, “I’ve got a bucket of bolts, but it has an empty seat, want to go get ice cream?”

When an employee tells you he can’t work overtime because his wife is sick, (but you just saw her and she is fine) it’s best to say, “Enjoy your weekend and we can make it up on Monday.”
After all, what he’s trying to say is, “Boss, you’re killing my family!” In the long run, people are more important than getting a report finished one day earlier.

When you take the pressure off of someone who feels they have to lie to you, you create a friend that one day will trust you. Look behind the lies that insecure people tell and make them comfortable enough with you to tell the truth in the future.

Side note: Have you ever told a lie, that someone let go? Remember what a relief it was not to be called out? Pass it on.

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Remember those who have passed.

You don’t need Memorial Day to honor loved ones that have passed over. Every day that you think about the part of their lives they shared with you, you honor their memory and give their lives more meaning.

Grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles used their lives to teach us, cousins, siblings and children spent their lives enriching ours. When we keep them in our hearts and minds we treasure the lessons and love they gave us and it reminds us of the lessons and love we are here to give other.

Who do you miss, what did they leave of their lives for you?

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Don’t trash your friends.

Right now in your house you probably have enough leftover stuff to hold a great sale. We hold on to things we will never use again, just in case hoping they will one day be valuable.

If objects are that important, how can it be any easier to throw away a friend?
People come into your life like gifts, they can become valuable like bearer bonds or they can leave your life like a envelope full of junk mail depending on the way you treat them.

If you throw out friends, chances are they will never come back as they were. They definitely will not appreciate in value.

Here’s a secret….they can ALL be bearer bonds. Treat your friends like you want them to treat you, even when it’s hard and years from now the reward will be immense.

(or stack them up and neglect them, and someday they will just be in your way.)

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Don’t play on sympathy.

Please help me to be self reliant unless I actually need help, then please grant me the humility to ask for help. I will be aware of times when I am using the sympathy of others as a crutch to keep me from moving forwards at a good pace.

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Don’t be too sympathetic.

Please give me the kindness to be sympathetic when it is necessary and the wisdom and strength to be encouraging when the situation calls for it. I will be aware of times when my sympathy does not serve someone and instead give them a reason to move beyond it.

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